Where to drink tonight?

College

Best bar in the city. Not up for debate. Crowd is electric, dance floor never dies, bangers back-to-back, and drinks are so cheap it feels like a sting operation. Staff is genuinely great — suspiciously so. Place looks unreal. Everyone becomes 40% more attractive and 80% more interesting after a $5 beer hits their bloodstream. Made three best friends last time, never saw them again. The photo booth charges $10, which is a war crime, but for $5 beers we'll take the L and smile.

King West

College

St. Lawrence

King West

College

Girls are gone. Boys night, and Matthew still doesn't have a job. Job market's rough, we get it. Welcome to the cheapest pitchers in the city — $15 for house lager that mysteriously tastes like popcorn. Mandatory at least one glass if you're at Bistro. Entrance looks like the gates of hell. Inside is shockingly cozy — not "bring the girls" cozy, but cozy enough for the lads. Small back patio opens in summer. Bartender looks like he'll fight you, but he's a complete sweetheart.

King West

Ever heard "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all"? Hard pass. Cherry's must have the best marketing team on earth to pull those lines while offering nothing outstanding. Music is a whisper — borderline ASMR. Pool table in the back, patio out front, and apparently the cocktails are good. There's also rumored to be a speakeasy in the back. I didn't get invited. Whatever they're paying their PR team, double it. Whatever they're paying for their speakers, refund it.

Ossington

Entertainment District

College

King West

Cool venue. Couldn't breathe here on St. Paddy's — best night of my life and I remember roughly nine seconds of it after a random stranger (absolutely not my buddy) allegedly produced a mickey of vodka from his coat. Beers aren't cheap — clearly cashing in on the "perfect Guinness pour" mythology, like the extra two minutes of settling justify another $4. Solid vibe, great spot for casual beers, or, depending on the company, beers that ruin a Tuesday.

Yorkville

King West

Parkdale

College

Queen St West

Annex

King West

King West

Ossington

My girlfriend likes this place. Told me — not asked — to include it. She bought a t-shirt here. Says it's great for a night out. I have not been consulted further. Good luck.